Funny Jokes About the American Revolutionary War
My boyfriend keeps talking about overthrowing capitalism in a violent revolution
Could this be a red flag?
A priest, a drunkard, and an engineer are taken to the guillotine...
On a beautiful Sunday afternoon in the midst of the French Revolution the revolting citizens led a priest, a drunkard and an engineer to the guillotine. They ask the priest if he wants to face up or down when he meets his fate. The priest says he would like to face up so he will be looking towards heaven when he dies. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. The authorities take this as divine intervention and release the priest.
The drunkard comes to the guillotine next. He also decides to die face up, hoping that he will be as fortunate as the priest. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. Again, the authorities take this as a sign of divine intervention, and they release the drunkard as well.
Next is the engineer. He, too, decides to die facing up. As they slowly raise the blade of the guillotine, the engineer suddenly says, "Hey, I see what your problem is ..."
What type of colonists were the funniest in the American Revolution?
Punsylvanians!
How many Bolsheviks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None - the lightbulb has the capacity for its own revolution
A few disenfranchised primates got together to start a revolution..
..they called it 'Gorilla Radio'..
What bird is most likely to inspire a revolution?
A pigeon... "Coup, coup"
What happened after the wheel was invented
a revolution
Ever seen the play about the French Revolution?
The scene with Marie Antoinette was perfectly executed.
How many Marxists' does it take to change a lightbulb?
None; within the lightbulb are the seeds of it's own revolution.
When our solar system was formed, the Sun was in charge...
So the planets started a revolution.
A Mexican immigrant was asked what he does for a living.
"I am a professional boxer."
"A professional boxer?"
"Yes, yes. Everyone in my family is a professional boxer.
We box onions, linens, tomatoes..."
Giving credit where credit's due: This joke was taken from a bit done by Gabriel Iglesias on his show "Stand-Up Revolution".
You can explore revolution rebellion reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean revolution ussr dad jokes. There are also revolution puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Q: How many communists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None. Each lightbulb contains the means of its own revolution.
I think my phone is sick of being in the proletariat
Autocorrect keeps trying to start a new years revolution.
My thoughts on the French Revolution
Great concept, terrible execution.
I achieved my New Year's revolution from last year.
I made it all the way around the sun.
Why does Marx support New Years Eve celebrations?
Well, it's got everyone out and about, celebrating another revolution.....
(I'll show myself out)
Grammatical error
My friend was peer-reviewing my essay on the Russian Revolution in class today, when he pointed out that I had written lenin instead of Lenin. I looked him dead in the eye and said, "You never capitalize lenin."
American, English and Russian governments...
American, English and Russian governments passed laws about mandatory raping of every citizen on Saturdays.
Americans made a revolution, Brits reelected their parliament and Russians began queing on Fridays evening not to waste the whole weekend.
What is the name of Apple's revolutionary new product that allows elite pirates to see from their eyepatches.
The iEyeCaptain
What do you call the act of turning over in bed to switch from the missionary position to doggy style?
A sexual revolution.
Did you know George III never even bothered to leave his couch during the American Revolution?
He was sofa king comfortable.
With the recent events in the news...
My Facebook friends list is starting to look like the French revolution.
After the American Revolution, Thomas Paine celebrates by purchasing a new pair of shoes.
He declares that these are the times to try men's soles.
How many communists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, we just sit in the dark complaining about capitalism.
But come the light-bulb revolution everything will be brighter.
They say revolution breeds revolution.
Resistance is fertile.
Why did the dyslexic, Russian astronomer hate the revolution?
He was following the Tsar.
My wife asked me, "Do you think it's because of a potential revolution or school shootings that the government keeps trying to take our guns?"
I said, "A little of column A, a little of Columbine."
What was the primary role of the aristocrats during the French revolution?
They put their head into it.
iPhone 7 is revolutionary!
•no headphones jack
•no wireless charging
•no curved screen
•no 4K resolution (or even full HD) screen
•no VR headset support
•no 360 camera support
•no expansion storage slot
It is true revolution in scamming people to upgrade from old iPhones!
What's Hitler's favorite Beatles song?
Revolution nein.
How many liberals does it take to change a lightbulb
None, because change can only come from a revolution of the working classes.
How many Socialists does it take to change a light bulb?
None comrade, the bulb holds the seeds to its own revolution!
A Tea party like revolution is coming to the Democratic party after the election. What should it be named ?
Half-Caff-Extra-Whip-Soy-Latte Party
What do you call an epic space opera set during the Russian Revolution?
Tsar Wars
The invention of the wheel created a...
revolution
Why did workers in the industrial revolution have better sense of smell?
It's because of all that time they spent in the ol-factory.
I was telling a great joke about the importance of the guillotine in the French Revolution...
But it didn't really land.
I guess execution really is key
Why is the French Revolution just like Prohibition?
They both got rid of Bourbon!
What did they cal the museums they put Loyalists in after the American Revolution?
Observe-a-Torys.
From the time it was discovered to the time it was declassified as a planet, pluto did not make a full revolution around the sun.
It was a tough year.
I thought I could never be a good dancer until I discovered Dance Dance Revolution. Though I've only really mastered one move,
it's a step in the right direction.
How to start a revolution with change?
Just take a coin and give it a spin.
What do you call a cowardly revolution?
A chicken coup.
"It's a revolution!" I yelled at the top of my lungs.
Scared the rest of the people on the Ferris wheel.
During the French Revolution a doctor, a lawyer, and an engineer were facing execution on the guillotine.
The doctor was first, but the blade jammed and the doctor was set free due to Divine Intervention.
The lawyer was next, again the blade jammed, and was also set free.
As the engineer was being led to his doom, he glanced up at the blade and said Wait a minute! I think I see the problem…
What does the revolutionary dove say?
Coup, coup!
Why has the earth always failed to maintain a strong government?
Because it is constantly in revolution
Why don't revolutions work?
Because after one revolution you're back where you started.
Why were the first soliders ready to enter a battle in the American Revolution so bad in bed?
They were all minutemen.
It's almost 2018!
My New Year's revolution is to proofread more.
I was reading about the 1979 Iranian Revolution...
... I guess Mohammed Reza Khan must have been Shah-kd.
What do the French monarchs before the French Revolution and frustums have in common?
They're both missing their top portions.
A communist revolution seems a bit suspicious
I mean, they always raise a few red flags.
What do you say to your friend who's just birthed a revolution?
Molotov!
There was a printing error on my textbook about the French revolution
All the headings got cut off.
What do you call a cat that participated in the Chinese Cultural Revolution?
a Meowist
Did you hear about the invention of the wheel?
They say it started a revolution.
Why did the Russian Revolution go so well?
They aimed for the tsars!
What did children used to celebrate on thei r date of birth when Industrial Revolution took place?
Labor day.
Why did everyone in the Industrial Revolution have such good confidence.
Everything ran off Self-Esteem-Engines.
Why did Louis XVI flee the revolution?
He felt a bit guillotine
Did you hear the one about the French Revolution?
It's a riot
During the French Revolution, what was the executioner's catch phrase?
First come, first severed!
What do you call a communist revolution that failed due to poor word choice?
A miss-commune-ication
A soapbox orator addresses a crowd on the glories of communism
Come the revolution, everyone will eat strawberries and cream! A man at the front whimpers, But I don't like strawberries and cream. The speaker thunders, Come the revolution, you will like strawberries and cream!
Did I tell you about my new Soviet bike?
For some reason it can only do one revolution and then it stops working.
I'm going to start a revolution, who's with me?
Ok, now just roll this wheel with me.
So I just put a baguette in my microwave
Guess you could say that I witnessed a French Revolution.
What is the most important part of jokes about the French revolution?
The execution
I was sat on a merry-go-round thinking...
I need to start a revolution
Why were nobles decapitated during the French Revolution?
The peasants thought they were getting just too far a head.
What did the Aristocrat say when he heard the French Revolution happening in the streets?
Oh! What a peasant surprise!!
A little son asks his father what a communism is...
...and the father starts explaining:
"Well, son, once upon a time there was this man named Lenin, except his real name was Uljanov. He had a friend named Stalin, except he wasn't his friend and his name was Dzugashvili. They started the October revolution, except it wasn't a revolution, it was a coup, and it wasn't in october, it was in november..."
"Jesus, dad, what a mess!" proclaims the son.
"Son, now you understand communism!"
What did the Soviets say during the 1956 Hungarian Revolution?
Soviets:You're not you when you're Hungary. Have a tank.
Do you know why the communist takeover of russia lasted more than a year?
It took more than one revolution.
Three men are talking in a Soviet gulag.
One of them asks the two others: "So what did you do?"
The first one answers: "Well, I arrived late at the factory, and so they accused me of slowing down the Revolution and the victory of the Proletariat."
The second one answers: "Well, I arrived early at the factory, and so they accused me of wanting to be favored and promoted over my fellow workers."
Then they turn to the one who asked the question: "How about you, then?"
"Well, I arrived at the factory right on time, and so they accused me of having a watch from the West."
Where do revolutionary chickens live?
The chicken coup!
On the subject of American independence, did you know that the Revolution was initially viewed as a breach of contract?
They heard that the Americans violated the teas and seas.
To think, Louis and Marie-Antoinette almost won the French Revolution.
They were neck and neck.
Why can't engines remain government leaders?
Once the first revolution begins there's always thousands more.
Here is how we will know when the self-driving car revolution has truly arrived:
When you hear a country song about someone's truck leaving them
Anyone can use my French Revolution joke
It's royalty free.
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